I’m sure we’ve all been there, you’re looking in the mirror or you’re at a party (well maybe not during a pandemic) and you can’t help but give in to the little voice in your head. Your inner monologue is speaking and you don’t want to hear it, because it’s not being too kind right now. I won’t get into specifics about what that voice might be saying, but we all know what I’m talking about. It was one of the most debilitating aspects of my struggle with anxiety, I just could not find a way to turn those thoughts around until pretty recently. So let’s talk about how I overcame these thoughts, or at least found ways to quiet them most days.
The first tip that helped me so much was to take the negative thoughts and transform them into neutral ones. It’s easier said than done for sure, but once you get it down it can be so powerful. Take any adjective with a negative connotation that you may use to describe yourself and rip the power away from it. Think about why you believe this descriptor is viewed as upsetting and ascribe a more gentle connotation. It may not be overly positive, but it’s neutrality will help give you peace of mind.
The second tip is to flood your mind with reassuring affirmations. Remind yourself that inside your head is absolutely not your reality. These feelings are not facts and are fleeting judgements that you are placing upon yourself. Once you realize that you are the one in control of your own thoughts and feelings you can put that negative voice in the backseat of your mind, actually you may as well throw that voice in the trunk.
The last tip I have is to think about how you would speak to a friend. Would you call your friend ugly? How about worthless? What about unintelligent? The answer should hopefully be, no. If you wouldn’t talk to your friend, even one that isn’t the closest, like that then why on Earth would you talk to yourself like that? You wouldn’t. So the next time that voice starts chattering, ask yourself: would you say that to your friend? From there you can learn to start talking to yourself in a more positive way, because at the end of the day you are your closest friend.
I hope that these tips help you out if this is something you or someone you love struggle with! Remember that you are worthy of self love and positive self talk. Have a great week!